Terror Bite!

My seemingly reliable Maxtor One-Touch 750 Gb backup drive has ceased to be.

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

So . . . . naturally I've had to replace it to satisfy the Wonderful Apple Time Machine that resides on the iMac.

It's successor is the Iomega Minimax 1Tb external Hard Drive.

I hope it's a bit more reliable than the Maxtor!

You Knew I Would!

I've got the Touch!, 'couldn't resist the blighter - just a little electronic marvel.  Mind you, I did have the decency to wait 'till after Christmas in case somebody gave me one.  

It's now steadily filling with all sorts of apps, some great, some not but it's just fun (or as Apple puts it "The Funnest iPod of all!")

As you can see below I can blog from anywhere using a neat bit of iPod software, I'm reading most of my Mail before I get out of bed along with the weather and The Independant.

In fact apart from meals and ablutions I might as well stay under the covers 'till Spring :-)

http://www.macdailynews.com/index.php/weblog/comments/8509/

 

Blogging from under the quilt!

Found a nifty app to use with my new gizmo - more of that later. It allows me to text to my blog using my new IPOD TOUCH.
So I can now compose from anywhere within range of the home network, or out and about in public wi-fi areas.
Cool!
So it's after midnight and I'm in bed blogging :-).

Meercat Study

The Meercat is a very endearing creature. In spite of being the star of many a wildlife safari on the telly, it has a capacity to always fascinate people. This particular animal was photographed at Chester Zoo and seemed totally preoccupied with skygazing. I think that he was actally on lookout duty while the rest of the family snoozed.
Canon 40D with 70-200 f4L, hand held.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Flock Testing!

I'm trying another web Browser - Flock. It's got some interesting attributes not least of which is its' ability to upload data such as blogs and images directly to subscribed websites.
I've successfully used it on Photobucket so now I'm trying it here.

Michelangelo's David after a recent vacation in Miami.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Watch This!

My Seiko self-powered gizmo watch is starting to feel it's age.

Movement of the wrist generates the power which is stored in a capacitor.

In spite of walking 100 miles a day and swinging my left arm vigourously,

 I can't generate enough power to keep the blighter going overnight.

Excuse to buy another gizmo!!

Enter the Citizen Eco-Drive E3100 SOLAR POWERED gizmo watch.

Pretty Neat Eh?

I've Got A Tattoo!!

We've just returned from Scotland having visited Glasgow and Edinburgh. The prime reason was to visit the Edinburgh Tattoo.

We were based in Glasgow at the Crowne Plaza Hotel just across the river Clyde from BBC Scotland and the Science and Imax Centres.  Not having stayed in Glasgow before I was very impressed with the area around the hotel. Very modern and impressive architecture alongside some historical areas preserved from the old shipbuilding days.

The Tattoo itself proved to be a really great experience with a very international content.  Edinburgh was absolutely packed with tourists from all over the world, brought together not only by the tattoo but the Edinburgh festival with all the Fringe shows

The view from our hotel looked straight down the Clyde towards the old dock area still with the shipbuilding cranes reaching for the sky

We were expecting to get a soaking at the Tattoo but the evening was dry and calm.  The picture right shows the finale with the whole cast and a firework display.

The G9 is Mine!

Yes it's Gizmo Time again!

My latest acquisition is the Canon Sureshot G9.

Canon's flagship compact that's  aimed at enthusiasts (like me) and the pro market as a carry-everywhere backup to an SLR system.

I think this say's it all . . . . 

http://www.dpreview.com/reviews/canong9/

Back From A Broad!

Not really abroad but the Norfolk Broads. We've just spent two great weeks cruising just about the entire Norfolk broad map. 

Starting in Wroxham aboard our mate Jim's boat, Forget-me-not, we navigated south through Yarmouth and spent the first week on the south side of Breydon Water.  A couple of days were spent at Oulton Broad and on the Thursday evening we watched the power boat racing.  This is the first time I've spent a fortnight on the Broads and I must have had about 10 such holidays over the years.

The weather was generally excellent apart from the first couple of days which were cold and windy at times.

The bird population seems to me to have increased substantially since my early years in Norfolk in the early sixties.

This can be partially explained by the thriving fish and insect numbers.  All yachts and cruisers no longer discharge sewage into the water as

they did back then and, as a result, the water is much cleaner.  The other factor may be that there is less river traffic now, Hire fleets are smaller and there are less of them.  It's become an expensive holiday to hire a large cruiser for six or eight people now and a holiday abroad can be cheaper.

For me, it's the uniqueness of a cruising holiday that attracts, there's nothing quite like waking on a summers morning for breakfast on a beautiful stretch of river or listening to the natural sounds on a peaceful evening.

We saw Otters for the first time too, after travelling north and mooring at Neatishead staithe near Barton Broad, we were surprised to see an Otter patrolling the margins in the early morning quite unconcerned with our presence on the boat nearby.  Apparently this is becoming a fairly common sight in some areas of Broadland.

The only trouble with this type of holiday is that it takes me two or three days to get used to sleeping on a boat bunk and about twice as long to get used to sleeping back home afterwards, often waking at night thinking I was still afloat. An altogether wonderful relaxing break from the rigours of retirement. 

I Just Love See-Through Gizmos!

I wish my Canon EOS40D had a transparent casing. I can't get enough of those little circuit boards and capacitors. I think it all stems from my teenage years when transistor radio kits were just coming in and you could build your own. That lovely smell of hot solder and plastic covered wiring . . . I suppose it's not really practical 'cos I've just realized that a see-through case would let the light in all the time and spoil the show altogether . . . pity.

Health Warning!!

Following the article below I have to report a serious side-effect from playng Nintendo Wii Sports.  My Significant Other has a hamstring injury from an over-enthusiastic Ten Pin Bowling session. She's now learning the art of playing without bending any knees!  In the process she's become a better player than yours truly and amassed a record score of 195 whilst standing perfectly vertical . . I give up!

I may be retired, but I'm cutting edge . . .

The Nintendo Wii is not just for teenies. I'm not a huge computer game player, I appreciate the fantastic graphics and sound now achieved in the latest software games but until now I've never felt the urge to purchase the hardware.

The unique approach by Nintendo in incorporating an interactive remote that describes its own position in space to the console and enables the player to interact with the TV screen by playing games and "sports" in a way that wasn't previously possible. The Wii Sports software provided free with the kit incorporates Ten Pin Bowling and the control provided by the remote gives a very passable impression of the real thing - bringing back memories of my youth in the bowling alleys of Sheffield. The more you practice the better you get, direction control and spin application are skills that can be developed - along with a modicum of physical exercise (just like the real thing my legs were tortured for a day or two at first). There is also a fitness section which presents you with small snippets of several physical activities and measures your input. My first efforts fully reflected my age group but I've recently improved to a 40 year old! - I'm liking Wii even more :-)

Now I've succumbed and bought my first "proper" game - Super Mario Galaxy - one of the latest from Nintendo and hailed as one of the best, time will tell if my enthusiasm is still undiminished in a month or so.

It seems the sales of Nintendo Wii units have outsold the combined efforts of Sony (Playstation) and Microsoft (X-Box) over the last few months so that must say something!

Well Wadya Know!!

It does work so I feel a daily blog addition happening from now on :-}

Test Post from Mac Widget on desktop

This little widget sits on my iMac desktop and contains a text window that enables me to post a blog direct - hope it works!

Talking of Big Macs

 . . i've got one!!, not the lovely squidgy-munchy thing I'm only allowed after I've just had major surgery (see below) . . but the lovely cool aluminium and glass one piece iMac super computer that Apple designed along with the iPod and iPhone.  

Coming from an MS Windows world into the OS X Leopard environment is not exactly straight forward - it's probably akin to suddenly driving on the right side of the road with one hand in your pocket - tricky but you can get used to it .

One of the biggest differences, to me, is the way programmes are uninstalled.  Windows demands either using the programm's uninstall utility or firing up control panel, asking it for the Add/Remove software bit then waiting 5 minutes while a list of possible uninstalls is compiled.

Lepoard doesn't mess around like that! - you just drag the offending programme executable thing, kicking and screaming, to the Trash Can , that's it!!

Another immediate impact is the boot-up time, this iMac takes 15 seconds to sit there ready with tail wagging and loyal upward stare.  My previous Windows PC's allowed enough time to microwave my morning porridge and mash a cuppa even after logging in.

In my usual fashion with new technology I've bought a couple of books to ease the transition but after only 2 weeks I'm rarely referring to them.

The REALLY cool parts of BIG iMac are :

1) The wonderful 24" screen which allows digital photo manipulation the way it should be  

2) The fact that all the computer guts are in the screen housing so no great box to cope with.

3) Complete quiet - can't hear any fans although there are 3 tucked inside.

4) A very cool keyboard made from one piece of aluminium with an extra USB port in each end.

5) Virus free - no antivirus checker needed - as there 'ain't any to combat :-)

Whilst the iMac sound reasonable with its built-in speakers I've added a pair of the extraordinary Creative Gigaworks T20's to bring the sound up to par.

I haven't mentioned the built-in camera and microphone, bluetooth and wi-fi (it connected to my home wireless network immediately) so although it's fairly large and heavy I can put it in any room and use internet facilities by just plugging (the single plug) in.

I'm a Mac convert already

A Tale Of Two Bypasses

Today I've returned from Sheffield's Northern General Hospital after spending a week there having a double heart bypass graft. The experience has left me with a deep admiration for the care and professionalism of our much maligned N.H.S.- apart from one particular subject - FOOD.
The Northern General provided me with new culinary experiences, probably top of the list is for the first time in my life I experienced the real fear of starvation. This was propagated by several consecutive days of eating next to nothing!
I realise that the anaesthetic process suppresses the appetite for a day or so but I know mine had returned when the morning cornflakes took on a gastronomic aura.
Meals were organised in advanced by filling in a tick-box list for the next day's lunch and evening meals.
Anything hot arrived incognito - being securely hidden from the eager feeder's view until the very last minute by a plastic lid, a cunning device allowing the provider to be away and out of (polite volume) earshot across the ward. Cold items usually sandwiches or salads were either packed in label-obscuring plastic boxes or, in the case of a salad, hidden beneath a mound of lettuce leaves.
I sampled the "Egg" salad. Beneath the near-impenetrable leaves was the following:
1 tomato cut in half, 4 slices of cucumber and 5 slices of a very small hard-boiled egg (only 3 of which had any signs of a yolk). That was it! I just longed for a spot of simple salad cream or a little grated carrot to stir a glimmer of interest.
My ward-mates shared these experiences with the same horror. Barry's 2 piece lemon sponge trapped inside a lidded pot that clung to it's miserable life by piece{A} being so hard as to provide gavel duty when someone auctioned off an edible rarity and piece {B} steadfastly refusing to leave the nest in spite of prising with the (grubby) cutlery. A pot of soup eagerly awaited by Ray (who hadn't eaten for 2 days) was fridge-cold. Try a beef sandwich, one slice of bread /one thin slice of reformed beef /one slice of bread. Vegetable curry and rice, bear in mind here that the ward was hot enough to reduce a Flora pack to liquid in 5 minutes, consisted of a glutinous mound of diced veg starting to crust over which was so hot (chemically) as to take what little breath was available coupled with a heap of rice dry enough to totally dehydrate the fittest patient in half an hour.
By the 5th night of my 6 I was having not only food nightmares in my very limited sleep sessions, but could think of nothing else during waking hours. I watched all the cookery programs on the TV with the firm belief I would never live long enough to enjoy a decent meal again.
Toast was to be my saviour. It was served before bedtime every night with butter/jam along with a cuppa. On the sixth night the waiting was unbearable. I had hideous thoughts that for some reason it wouldn't arrive - a bread strike, a work to rule in the kitchens, don't serve toast on a Monday because it offends some remote Afghan hill tribe, whatever.
Imagine my relief when that familiar trundling sound was heard and the now universal clapping and cheering got nearer and nearer. I had 6 slices that night.
During the food delerium periods I had a repeated fantasy of devouring a Big Mac and fries in the car park of the Worksop Branch on my way home. I believed then and still now that this kept what little sanity I had left.
It's about 8 hours since we made that little diversion down the Worksop Bypass to McDonalds and consumed what I now consider the finest meal of my life, (can't remember the last time I had one)
Moral, take salad cream, sandwich pickle and cutlery and enjoy your bypasses!

p.s. 30/04/2009
I'm fine now and mentally able to point you in this direction for further delights in the hospital food category: here

Global Warming Arrives!!

These photographs were taken on February 2nd 2007 in Carlton Wood, right behind our house. They show a group of three Rose-ringed parakeets settled in the trees. To my knowledge this is the first sighting of these birds in the area (unless you know different). They stayed all day and were seen in the area until sundown.
These parakeets are fairly sedentary so I hope they stay around and perhaps breed here!

The Rose-ringed Parakeet (Psittacula krameri), also known as the Ring-necked Parakeet, is a gregarious tropical parakeet species that is popular as a pet. Its scientific name commemorates the Austrian naturalist Wilhelm Heinrich Kramer.
Ring-necked parakeets are long-lived, and nest in holes in trees. There is no record of their presence impacting on native birds, but the RSPB is monitoring areas where these birds have settled
In the wild, Rose-ringed Parakeets usually feed on buds, fruits, vegetables, nuts, berries and seeds. Wild flocks also fly several miles to forage in farmlands and orchards causing extensive damage
Ring-necked Parakeets first bred in England 1969.
The smooth, non-glossy white eggs are about 30 mm by 23 mm. The female incubates the eggs by herself. After the young hatch, they are fed by both parents.
The European populations became established during the mid to late 20th Century from introduced and escaped birds. There are two main population centres in Britain: the largest is based around south London, Surrey and Berkshire, and by 2005 consisted of many thousands of birds. A smaller population occurs around Margate and Ramsgate, Kent. Elsewhere in Britain, smaller feral populations have established from time to time (e.g., at Studland, Dorset).
They are slowly spreading from their southern stronghold and are now seen as far north as Sheffield and Leeds; a pair nested and possibly bred in Sheffield in 2003
The Rose-ringed Parakeet is considered one of the best talking parakeets and can learn a vocabulary of up to 250 words. The speech clarity can be pretty amazing and they have a habit of practising until perfect and then shocking their owners with an accurately uttered word. Now these birds come in many mutations, including the common green, blue, grey among many other colours.

My DVD Collection

I've been collecting DVD's since the medium was launched,
but judging by other online collections I've a long way to
go before it can be described as large. See it HERE .

Fractal Doodling

Fractals are a fascinating (for me at least) subject and the patterns that can be generated are wonderful shapes and colours. Free software such as Tierazon Fractals and interesting websites like http://www.fractalarts.com - a few of my doodles follow:

I've got a new PC!!

I've had a wireless gateway for nearly a year now and only just got the thing to work wirelessly. Having two desktop pc's (one upstairs and t'other down) which are on a wired network, I thought an early Crizzy prezzy would be in order to replace an ageing laptop running Windows ME , with a shiny new wireless-enabled job. Not being one to take snap decisions I'd sorted it in half an hour online. PC World had a Compaq Presario 6133 with £100 off. That was last friday 8/12 and it's taken me a while to get the wireless bit working and the other pc's plugged into the new router, but here I am WIRELESS at last in the conservatory typing this note. The new notebook has the AMD Turion 64 X2 dual core chip and is ready for Windows Vista in the new year. In fact I should get a free upgrade! if the enclosed leaflet is true
(update 28/3/07 - received the upgrade today, having read of trouble with drivers etc. I'm holding off installing it)