I'm a Pensioner - It's Official

I received my first State Pension payment last week, a feat unknown to the male Simpson line.

My Dad needed another 3 years, his father, Henry, managed 64, Robert reached 58, and John just scraped 50. So that makes me the oldest in 218 years (John was born in 1791)

I don't know whether to feel proud or senile.

Stirling Castle Simplified!

_MG_1539-Simplify.jpg
Originally uploaded by seejayess

This Post has been sent directly from Flickr. The photo was published from a new facility in Lightroom 3 Beta which has just been issued for testing - it connects directly with Flickr and post the image along with any comments - so I'm testing!
The image was tweaked in Topaz Simplify (hence the title), which is a Lightroom plugin that enables an image to be manipulated in many ways - including "arty" effects like pencil sketch and watercolour effects.

I'm hoping that the finalised issue of Lightroom 3 will have other Publishing facilities to sites like Photobucket.

From My Bed

Just found a new app. for my iPod for Blogger.
Lying in bed on a Thursday morning sipping green tea with the sun streaming in - everything a bloke could wish for!



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPod Touch

Living in the Conservatory!!

The kitchen is a re-plastered box. A facility that was the hub of the house has gone away for three weeks.
Imagine it (if you can). Every spare bit of space in the house crammed with kitchen content. The constant use of only two cups, plates, bowls and knives & forks repeatedly washed and dried in the downstairs loo. Breakfast in a conservatory already bulging with plants now supplemented with an ejected gas cooker, part of the previous worktop perched on the dining table serving as the new hub of meal activity. The luxury of a dinner at the local Brewer's Fare is the highlight of the week.
Sleep deprivation on a gargantuan scale - tradesmen arriving at silly times like 8-30 in the morning ( a time unknown to me since retirement eons ago), the repeated hourly tea mashing ceremony to satisfy their thirst coupled with the new experience of Smooth FM accompanied by the occasional, loud warbleings of the fame-starved plumber/electrician/gas fitter.
The end of June can't come soon enough!

Snow!! - like it used to be

Here in sunny Carlton we don't get snow, or at least we haven't had a decent drop since moving here in '83.
This brings the memories of my Sheffield childhood back, late nights in the dark sledging down main road hills without any traffic, chilblains and steaming socks in front of a coal fire.
The kids round here under the age of 6 won't have seen anything like this and are out in force making huge snowballs and being a nuisance to old folk who resent not having a sledge anymore :-(

Terror Bite!

My seemingly reliable Maxtor One-Touch 750 Gb backup drive has ceased to be.

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

So . . . . naturally I've had to replace it to satisfy the Wonderful Apple Time Machine that resides on the iMac.

It's successor is the Iomega Minimax 1Tb external Hard Drive.

I hope it's a bit more reliable than the Maxtor!

You Knew I Would!

I've got the Touch!, 'couldn't resist the blighter - just a little electronic marvel.  Mind you, I did have the decency to wait 'till after Christmas in case somebody gave me one.  

It's now steadily filling with all sorts of apps, some great, some not but it's just fun (or as Apple puts it "The Funnest iPod of all!")

As you can see below I can blog from anywhere using a neat bit of iPod software, I'm reading most of my Mail before I get out of bed along with the weather and The Independant.

In fact apart from meals and ablutions I might as well stay under the covers 'till Spring :-)

http://www.macdailynews.com/index.php/weblog/comments/8509/

 

Blogging from under the quilt!

Found a nifty app to use with my new gizmo - more of that later. It allows me to text to my blog using my new IPOD TOUCH.
So I can now compose from anywhere within range of the home network, or out and about in public wi-fi areas.
Cool!
So it's after midnight and I'm in bed blogging :-).